The chronicle of a dark and dangerous journey through a world gone mad.

Sunday, May 15, 2016

Man With a Gun! Oh You Poor Frightened Little Cupcake!


OK, I admit it. I have gotten lazy of late. I sometimes open carry around the neighborhood. There are many days when the only places I am going are neighborhood restaurants and my special coffee shop where they all know me very well and all know they have no reason for concern.

By habit, I am a shirt tucked in guy. So, when I am among "friends" in the hood I don't worry about someone seeing my weapon. And, it's not like I'm wearing some huge tactical rig or carrying a carbine around on my shoulder. Most days, I am carrying a Glock 43 in an in the waistband Kydex holster so all that you see is about two inches at most of black pistol butt sticking out of my waistband. BUT, the bane of my existence are the occasional out of town or at least of local experience TU types that frequent my hangouts.  They can be a pain the *ss.

One day a couple of weeks ago, one of these darling little TU cupcakes was apparently "triggered" by the"microagression" of seeing me sitting there in the corner, minding my own business, drinking my coffee, reading my tablet with two inches of Glock showing from my waistband. I really wonder how they even saw it since the table should have blocked their view. BUT, it takes hard work to be offended, saw it they did and so they called the police.

I knew something was going on when a cop who doesn't normally frequent the place showed up and didn't order. He was an older, larger guy. I have a nodding and speaking relationship with the motor cop who hangs out there regularly. The SWAT shop is right down the street and I know the faces of most of those guys who come in for take out regularly and I'm sure, that since they are by nature very situationally aware, they know mine. After a few seconds, this cop's face registered. He is a senior patrol officer that works our neighborhood.  After a few seconds, the light bulb lit up over my head.  He was working actually working a call concerning me!

The officer came in, positioned himself diagonally from me across the room and pretended to be looking at upscale coffee accessories.  I thought, "Gimme a break officer.  You could probably care less about a French Press or a European stove top espresso maker.  You're not the type. You drink coffee black that comes out of a pot."

After a few minutes of that little performance, the officer asked to use the bathroom.  That would take him right past my side were he could see the weapon on my waist that was hidden by the table. He did so, got a good look at me and the weapon and then pretended to use the bathroom.  We exchanged man type comments as he came out of the bathroom.

After he left, all I could think was "What a colossal waste of that officer's time."  I'm on a first name basis with most of the employees of the coffee shop and many of the regular customers.  I am something of an institution in that place, the old half retired lawyer that sits there at the corner table sipping coffee and sometimes meeting clients over a cup.  I come in several times per week, tip well and mind my own business.

Somebody taught that little TU cupcake to be scared to death of a firearm.  Somebody taught that little TU cupcake that he or she was doing the right thing to call the police and make trouble even though open carry is perfectly legal in Oklahoma.  I'm sure the little cupcake secretly hoped that the officer would show up and make my life miserable for a while.  And, I'm sure the little TU cupcake also hoped that if enough people followed his/her/it's/their example that the police would get tired of making useless calls and make it tough on folks who dare show a weapon in public.  But, none of that happened.  The officer was clumsy in his "investigation" but professional.  And,  I refused to get angry or rattled by the fact that a cop was checking me out for exercising a perfectly legal right. There were no arrests, no shootouts, no sponaneous eruptions of gunfire.  Just an awkward moment for the officer and an annoying moment for me.

Bottom line, you lost this one cupcake.

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